Annual Reading Schedule - Torah Given Through Mosheh - Week 7 - Beyt El & 14 Years For Daughters, 11 Sons & 1 Daughter Born (Genesis 27:37-30:38)

When discussing marriage and how a marriage is determined, some people believe it is solely based upon the consent of a man and a woman. I do not hold this view that consent is required by the man or woman in all situations to establish a marriage. My view is that marriage under normal circumstances is established by consent between two men – a man and the Father of a woman who a man wants to marry. However, I'm not saying the daughter's desires shouldn't be considered. See reading notes for Week 5 of the Annual Reading Schedule for more information on asking the daughter what she wants.

There appears (at least to me) to be exceptions where oral consent of either person is not required for a marriage to exist. All the laws of Yahweh must be considered when determining if a marriage exists. We've seen with Ya'aqov and Le'ah that was not the case as he did not orally consent as noted above. The only person who we have evidence that they orally consented to the marriage was Lavan, the Father of Le'ah.

Also, it is interesting to take note of Rut's (Ruth's) situation. In her case, she was a woman who had no child and she was "acquired" or "purchased" by the one who was the kinsmen redeemer. In situations like hers, the "kinsmen redeemer" may or may not be someone she actually chooses or consents to being married with. Although, back then I think women were more likely to be content just with having someone to provide for them and permit them to have children, it doesn't appear that Rut (Ruth), for example, necessarily knew who she would be married to until it was determined at the gate of the city who the kinsmen redeemer was.

We can see in the book of Ruth that Boaz says in Ruth 4:10 he purchases/acquires Rut (Ruth) by acquiring/purchasing the land of the deceased. It is because of this arrangement, not necessarily because she orally agrees to be with him, that she becomes his wife. This is one of the laws of marriage related to the "duty of a husband's brother" found in Deuteronomy 25:5-7. This is why in Ruth 4:11 the men of the city did not say, "Does Ruth agree to this? Hold on! She must first agree! Let us bring her out here to the gate of the city and hear if she truly consents!" If her oral consent was required to establish the marriage, the men of the city would have required that they hear her for herself consent to this arrangement. However, they did not require this and therefore that infers her oral consent was not required.

I also want to state, so there is no confusion, that if a Father hears his daughter is going to get married to a man and he does not object to it, and his daughter therefore goes and gets married as she told her Father she would, then the marriage stands. If her Father later, after they are married, decides he doesn't want his daughter married to him and doesn't like the man she married after all, it is too late – the marriage is already established.